A fight worth fighting for.

A wise woman named Peyton Sawyer once said:

"Isn't it so much better to be fighting for something, rather than fighting over something?"

It was a normal day; a kind of day where I didn't feel like listening to music too much. Truly, those are very rare occasions because everyone who knows me understands how much a part of my life music really is. Instead of blasting my ears with the normal tunes I would listen to, I figured I would fill my brain with the musings of Ms. P. Sawyer.

There I was on my way home listening to the wise words that she could possibly impart, and this one really struck me...hard. I have around 14 or so podcasts made by her, but this one is def. one of my favorites.

Don't you think it's true though? Sometimes, I think that us humans can be so preoccupied with "life" as we know it, that we zone into stupidity without even realizing it. We tend to over analyze words, over think a measly situation, and most especially fight over the most inutile occurrences. Sometimes we get so wrapped up with our emotions, that there's nothing left to do but burst into pieces and then in the end, realize how utterly humiliating and wrong we were due to the decisions we made and words we said.

Awhile ago Marice (a friend of mine) and I were talking like we always did in her condo, and one of today's topics was our college days gone by. In a week it will all be over. College as we know it. I told her that there will be so many things I would miss about that chapter in my life, and it scared me a little because I could actually see the future of our friendships. Some disintegrating, others stronger, most...would be stagnant.

Anyway, an...errr...old friend of ours came to mind, and I told her that I might possibly miss this old friend. I had to laugh right after though, because V (Marice)...being the person she is immediately pointed out that she would not. It is true though, come to think about it...having that person in my life was just stressful, and sad. That relationship just really brought out the worst in me, even if I believe that most of the time...I was correct. I was a beast...a monster that just wanted to devour that person whole because of my resentment and anger. I then realized how much time and energy I wasted during those terms just being angry and a total bitch. It was not worth it. I accept that it hurt me because we were close...hahaha or so I thought. But the truth is sometimes life screws you over like that and we just have to accept it. We eventually fixed things...and now we're civil and it works best like this.

I totally digress, but my point is, I look back on it, and realize how much time we wasted fighting over something. I was stubborn, and mean, but during that time I thought that it was something that I had to do to be able to make that person see the huge chaos that was made just by the random personalities that were elicited.

Think about it people, life may screw us over and over again, lemons may be thrown towards us from left and right, huge boulders will be placed on our shoulders every now and then...and we sometimes are too busy to even see this that in the end we blame other people and pick fights. Next time, maybe we should just unscrew the mistake, make lemonade or drink tequila, (if you're weight conscious or allergic, then a lemon cooler perhaps) and turn the boulders into rubble by analyzing the situation, trying to see the right path to take...and realizing that these fights are infantile.

It's difficult just thinking about it, but let's go and try to fight for something...rather than over something.

Now THAT would be a wonderful change.


I wrote this a little over less than a year. August 22, 2008 to be exact. And I just realized that there are some old writings of mine that I'd like to share with you readers.

This is one of the many, and an important one I think. So check back every now and then, because it's good that we all learn a little something :)

Post Script: Wanna fight for something? Look for a good cause, there's plenty out there that I'm sure you guys can participate in. Find one that suits you. Give that a try today!

-Trina Lorenzana

It's been minutes, it's been days,
it's been all I will remember
Happy lost in your hair
and the cold side of the pillow
Your hills and valleys are mapped
by my intrepid fingers
And in a naked slumber,
I dream all this again

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Dancing With The Universe

He danced like no one was watching. 
But the whole world did watch. 
And the whole world got into it.  

A friend of mine sent this over as an invitation to leave our desks and see the world. It was the jolt I needed to get back to turning my want-to's to just-did's. Hope it inspires you to do the same. 

Dance with me now...

More information on: www.wherethehellismatt.com

- Cookie


I don’t know what it is, but I’ve had this urge to write these past few days. What about, you ask? I have no idea! But something always comes out from nothing so we’ll see where this one goes.

I just came home from doing a radio show and I realize how blessed I am to be able to do what I love every week. I wake up everyday wanting to go to work. Now when was the last time you heard somebody say that? It’s not rare to meet people who really love what they do but it’s definitely not the majority.

I realize that your job should not be treated as if you’re still a kid back in school, looking forward to the breaks and the time you finally get to head home. I do believe that we all need to take a breather from time to time but there’s a difference between wanting and needing to take a break. I see it everyday, people bitching about their jobs that take up almost half of their day, five to six days a week. Why keep doing it?

Maybe that’s the reason why everybody seems to be looking for an escape nowadays. Some take time to travel, engage in sports, or get lost in art. It’s different for everybody. I say whatever gets your mind right then go for it. But what is it that we’re really escaping from? I realize that when you feel purpose in what you do, and you feel strongly about it in your core, why would you want to escape from that?

I noticed that I’ve asked several questions in this entry already, but it’s through inquiring that we open doors to the unknown. We need to take the journey within to get a familiarization of a new way of being. That sounds like something a monk would say, but I find truth in it.

So let me ask you, do you feel the purpose in what you do or are you just represented by the amount you get paid? Remember that it’s the choices we make that determine the quality of our experiences. I hope you start making the right ones.

- Pat Jamlang

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Dear Stranger, I wish you one amazing kickass day! :)

To every little good thing in life, Cheers!

- Paulina


Life will always be la vie en rose....

As I write this, I'm actually sitting here and multitasking- painting, thinking of stores I can pullout from for some up and coming shoots and writing my next article for Inquirer.

Life wasn't always like this for me. It wasn't filled with photo shoots, meeting well- known and very talented people especially from the fashion industry, writing for a credible and well- respected newspaper and just filled with excitement, hard work, passion and good ol' fun. So a thought that seems to always find its way to my mind, especially on those rare occasions when I'm just relaxing at home, enabled me to write this article. How did I get to achieve and experience the things I never thought I would....

Well I suppose this dream of mine started when I was a little girl. Though I was boyish, getting into all kinds of trouble my 3 older brothers got themselves into, somehow I always found myself in my mom's closet, playing dress-up. This is where my love of fashion and everything beautiful began. Art, and creativity whether in the articles I've read, paintings I've seen and fashion editorials I've stared at for days, always fascinated me. At such a young age, I found myself painting, sketching, tweaking my clothes, making little knick knacks, and collecting books and magazines with beautiful pictures. I started collecting magazines like Vogue (which started when I saw my mom's own collection), Harper's Bazaar, Vanity Fair, Elle etc. not just for the fashion editorials but also for their articles. For others, it's just fashion, nothing more, nothing less. For me, it's another form of self- expression just like music, paintings, etc. It's like writing an article, in which you talk about your views and opinions on things but just more visual. You show others what you want them to see or what you want them to know about you. But don't get me wrong, I didn't know what I wanted from the get- go. It wasn’t only until early last year when I got out of my comfort zone and pushed myself to pursue the things I wanted. A lot of luck, passion and hard work got me to where I am today. I still have a long way to go but this is definitely the start of fulfilling my dreams.

Now, I occasionally write for Inquirer’s Lifestyle Section and I also have contributed to magazines such as Marie Claire (which I miss very much), Chalk, You, and Preview. I used to abhor writing essays when I was in High School but when my first article was published, I’ve grown to love writing since then. My love of styling on the other hand started when I interned in Marie Claire and I met Pam Quinones, whose work I’ve admired for years. I see her as my mentor and to this day, she may not be aware of it, I continue to learn a lot from her about styling, and even about life- how difficult it can be sometimes and how fulfilling it can be as well. Through my internship in Marie Claire, I was able to be a contributing stylist there, for Preview and even style for other publications. I was also able to help style for commercials, print ads and shows. Of course I had my share of ups and downs since I was spreading myself too thin with the demands of my work and my studies and I had to deal with my parents’ wavering support every time I had a shoot, but, I always tried to see the brighter side of things or the silver lining in every cloud. I stayed determined to excel in everything I put my heart into because at the end of the day, no amount of stress and difficulty can equal the sense of fulfillment I get when I see the finished product knowing that I did my job to the best of my ability.

As I’ve said, I still have a long way to go but where I am now is definitely a good start of brighter things to come. I say, do what you feel in your heart to be right and stop second- guessing yourself because you’ll never be able to start pursuing your dreams. Life is, after all, what we make it.

If you wanna know more about the nitty- gritty that come with the job/s, watch out for more posts. Till next time!

- Cit Cit

How Bad Do You Want It?

How far will you go for P1K worth of Timezone GCs? Apparently a friend of mine, who was addicted to Tekken, was willing to get choked out for it. It started out as a bet that ended up being more of a challenge if I could put him to sleep in under five seconds. I love questioning the possibilities of whether I can or can't do something. I like testing myself and I'm always intrigued to find out the answer to "what ifs." So could I put him to sleep in five seconds? There was only one way to find out.

I've never had anyone volunteer to get choked out before so in the spirit of trying out something new that day, I went ahead and gave it a try. I've been training jiu-jitsu for a little over three years now, so I know how to apply a rear naked choke with control. When applied correctly, it only takes 3-5 seconds to put someone to sleep. Please DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME if you don't know what you're doing. You could seriously injure someone.

Joe Rogan applying the rear naked choke. This guy goes out quick!

Here's Randy Couture choking out a girl. If there was no time limit, I would've applied the choke gradually like you'll see in this video.

- Pat Jamlang

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When I was 7... I had a family friend who was diagnosed with cancer at the young age of 8. His name was Mico, and at that time he was really one of my best guy friends. He was very thoughtful, and loving, and fun to play power rangers with.

One day we visited him in the hospital and found him in the ICU. I could see him through the glass window in his isolated quarter. He was unconscious or probably sleeping, and to me he looked so different. All I knew was he was sick with cancer, but had absolutely NO IDEA what that was. He was frail and looked so much older. I could even see the scar on the back of his neck due to his operation.

There was only one other man in the room with Mico, and he was wearing a white coat. I turned to my mum who was beside me and asked who that man was. She looked down at me, and this is what she said: "That's Mico's doctor. He's going to cure Mico."

From then on I wanted to be a doctor. I dreamed of wearing the white coat and planned to heal my friend.

As I got older different specializations were attached to my dream.

When I was in grade 6 I wanted to be a surgeon.

When I stepped into college after taking up BIOPSYCH, I wanted to be a neurosurgeon.

Now that I have graduated, it hasn't changed. I still want to be a neurosurgeon...and a damn good one if it's possible.

That dream of becoming a doctor was formulated 14 years ago. I am now turning 22, and entering med school this coming June. In fact, I just paid for my enrollment fee at exactly 5:03pm today (I took note of it because I felt like it was a historic moment in my life).

I never thought of any other profession as I was growing up, unless of course it was something unattainable like being a pop star or a mermaid with free flowing red hair. Whenever an adult would ask me what I wanted to be when I got older, I always responded with three words: A great doctor.

I graduated on October last year, and for 9 months I did nothing but bum around, eat, watch re-runs of my favorite TV shows and hang out with my friends. I couldn't wait for the time to come for me to actually step into my future of becoming Dr. Lorenzana M.D. So of course I did what anyone with burning passion for what they dreamed of becoming would do. I fixed all my necessary papers, applied to my preferred med schools, and prayed to God that I get in.

UST was my first choice. I was denied.

UE came in second place, and I was so sure that I would get in.

I was wait listed. Since May 4 (after my interview) I've been praying knowing in my heart that God would grant me my wish because it was me! The girl who wanted to become a doctor since she could ever remember. The girl who knew what her life's purpose was before she could even do algebra.

They put me on hold, and would ask me to call back to follow up. I did so profusely. Every single day for 31 days I would call. Every hour within the day I would call. And their answer was always "Wala pa pong list". I gave myself a deadline. Today, June 04, 2009, at 5p.m. sharp...if they still don't have a list, I'm going to enroll in my third chosen school.

So at 4:59 p.m. I called UERM up, asked the same question...and got the same answer. I then was accompanied by my mother to the basement of the school (that's where the cashier was found), and I handed in a check to seal the deal with my third chosen school. Right after the receipt was grasped by my hand, I cried.

I cried silent tears and my mother cried with me. She hugged me knowing the struggle I was in. I really wanted to get into UE, not just because it was a kick ass medical school, but because I also wanted a different environment. I've been sheltered my whole life, and I figured it would be a great adventure to see the world in the eyes of something new. That part excited me.

And as I was crying, my mother just hugged me and consoled me, and told me she understood. After a few more minutes she held my hand and told me that I had to move on. She told me that it was fine to let it out, but it's also time to let it go. I knew she was right. I had to get a hold of the fact that UE is not part of my future anymore, but this was. And truthfully, there's only so much you can do with what could be, and so much you can do with what is.

So why did I share this lengthy story with you? Because if there's one thing that I believe...it's that in life,

In the beginning though it all seems so murky, and unfair, and just pretty darn awful to not get things going your way. But eventually you'll see the reason why. You'll see God's purpose for leading you to another direction. It doesn't necessarily mean that he'll make you see it right away, but eventually he will. And you'll understand.

I don't know why I didn't get what I wanted. I honestly did everything that I could which induced me to stress out, cry buckets of tears, and snap at random people. It still confuses me, and I'm sure I'll continue being confused for awhile. But I am certain that one day, when I'm in the middle of studying at 4am in the morning for an exam at 8am the next day, or as I talk to a patient for a consultation when I have established my own clinic...He'll finally show me the answer to my question.

And I know that when that time comes, there's a possibility that I'll thank him for directing me to this path...instead of the one that leads to #64 Barangay Doña Imelda, Aurora Blvd., Quezon City.

Everything does happen for a reason. Never ever doubt that.

It's alright, I'm okay
I think God can explain.
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed
I'll get over it yeah.

- Trina Lorenzana

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Try Something New

Do you feel like you've been living a routine lately? Same shit different day? It's important to switch things up, and venture into the unknown. Get out of your comfort zone and feed your curiosity. Don't tell yourself you don't have time. As they say, if you got time to take a shit, you got time to read a book! Here's one thing I did during the summer that you might want to try out!

- Pat Jamlang

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Do you want to get lost with us too?

There's this "thing" that I do whenever I feel like I'm lost. May it be that I'm at a loss for the right words to say, or something deeper like losing my own sense of self. I do this often, not because I need to, but because let's just say --it's partly fun. My solution to finding myself again? It's very simple. I get lost even further.

I bet you're a bit confused so let me explain. What I meant by getting lost is that I get lost in the music. Whenever life throws me lemons, I don't make lemonade...heck I don't even make tequila! When life throws me lemons, I grab my i-pod, turn up the volume to 13, and get lost in the damn music.

I love how the melody rushes through my system, how the lyrics calm me down, or build me up, how the beat resonates in my body, and how for just five minutes, the world isn't the world... but is actually the world as I know it.

I adore how one song means the universe to my being, yet at the same time it means absolutely nothing to the person right next to me. It's amazing how it speaks to you in ways that only God and yourself can understand, and how everything just gets better after hearing a particular line or phrase in a song.

I believe that life is different for everybody. Pat recently mentioned that for him, life is like art. Others say life is falling madly in love. The rest say that life is a box of chocolates. My take on it is that life is definitely just like the music.

Everyone dances to a different tune, though sometimes two people find that they enjoy the same type of music. Some like it fast, some like it mellow, most are way too busy listening to the beat to the point that they miss the important message. Others, well others just like it the way it is.

We all have our different mechanisms for coping with life. For me, the best way is to listen to a song, turn up the volume, maybe dance your ass off a little bit...then get lost in it. And when you feel like you're ready, as the music comes to an end...you go and find yourself again.

Now, after reading what we've just written, we want to know your take on it.

Do you get lost in the music too?
Do you dance to a different beat?
Do you hear the same tune as we do?
How is life as you know it?

Welcome to Because I Am.

A blog which consists of people with different views on life and plenty to offer.

We're doing this for the people out there who just is...for people who want to get their voice heard, people who want the good to win over evil, and for people who just believe that there's something out there worth talking about.

Tell us what you think, because we pretty much believe that you are too.

Whenever I end my posts, I usually put a few lines from a song at the bottom right of the page, but for now let me end it with this...a song I more often than not choose to get lost into:

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the Milky Way
And tell me, did Venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there
-"Drops of Jupiter" by Train

So, do you want to get lost with us too?

- Trina Lorenzana

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