BECAUSE I AM.
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The type that kills the cat.
Curious. That somehow always enters my mind when someone asks me what kind of person I am.
I've always been the type of girl who needed an explanation. I needed to know why it happened. Why did it turn out that way? Why wasn't it possible? Why not? Why now? Why not now?
Every time something happens, a billion and one questions always enter my mind and my brain goes on overdrive! I can't seem to put a halt to my thoughts and more often than not, it gets me more confused than I already was. And of course that didn't help me out one bit.
One time a friend of mine back in the day had a solution to my problem. He told me that I shouldn't think too much. He said, and I know I remember this correctly..."Thinking kills."
And of course that got my brain working overtime again. Does it really?
Does thinking too much actually kill somebody figuratively?
I guess in some cases thinking does make you go a little crazy, especially if you're in a situation where answers don't come as much as you'd like them too. I guess what my friend was trying to say was that over thinking kills. That part I do believe completely. You think too much about something that it leads you to a whole bunch of new questions which then leads to another series of questions! It's amazing and also a little bit annoying how fast our brain can work.
I admit that along with my curiosity comes my stubbornness. Sometimes I don't know when to stop asking, or when to stop thinking of things to the point that it gets me into a whole crap load of trouble. And then I think afterwards that I should've just stopped thinking in the beginning and just let things be.
I know this entry is a little bit confusing (just like my thoughts), but I also wanted to say that despite how much of a curious person I am, I've learned a lot of lessons via my billion and one questions.
I learned that being curious can be a good thing, because it tests your limits. You never really know how far you can go until you try.
I've learned that my friend was semi right. Over thinking does kill. Sometimes it's better to not think too much about something because it'll just screw up with your brain and get you into an even messier tangle of thoughts.
But the last 2 lessons I'm going to share with you which I learned because of my thinking are the 2 lessons that helped me become who I am today.
First, was that I'd rather think too much and feel too much than not think nor feel at all. At least I know the extent of who I am and what I'm capable of (or not capable of) and that makes me feel more human and alive.
Second and lastly would be that even if you're itching to know something so badly, sometimes there are certain situations where no explanations are needed. You don't need to know the reason behind everything, because sometimes things aren't meant to be understood. Sometimes, despite how difficult it would be to do so... some things are just better off accepted.
Post Script: Speaking of questions! We know it's been awhile, but our Formspring is up and running again :) You can ask us anything and everything and we'll try to answer as much as we can. You can reach us through the little box on the left column of this page or via: http://formspring.me/becauseiam
Been up all night staring at you
wondering what's on your mind.
I've been this way with so many before
but it feels like the first time.